Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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