if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
