What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
