who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I will die if light touches me.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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