nutella sex= disaster
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
