I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
