I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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