it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
