why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
