So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
