The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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