Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
