it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
