Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
