friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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