Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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