He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
