We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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