just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
