the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
