3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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