Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
