dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
