my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
