One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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