Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
