Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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