I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
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Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
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just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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