toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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