I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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