the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
