You did not just play the dead husband card again.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
