Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
