i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize