Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
