Its about making memories worth repressing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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