Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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