Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
