No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
