walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
