I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
handjob tips. give me some.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
