either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
