no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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