Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
