The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So vagazzling was a success
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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