Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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