i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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