So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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