Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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