so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's blow job season.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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