i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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