So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
