i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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