Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize