It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize