So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
