Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
