Me. At least after what I've been through.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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