my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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