Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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