The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
