a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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