she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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