After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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