She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
